Holly Humberstone’s debut album, Paint My Bedroom Black, is an ode to girlhood in all of its mess: the fear of ghosting, relying on someone else to boost your confidence, and vulnerability.
It’s by encompassing all of these experiences and emotions that Holly manages to create art out of an inherently tough period of life. She makes a beauty of the parts of herself that may seem unappealing at first glance (breaking through the mindset of needing to be as conventionally attractive as possible is a minefield) and reclaims the flaws of femininity.
The album starts with its titular track. A song showcasing the all-encompassing heartbreak we all inevitably go through at a young age – it makes for a classic pop breakup song, which is by no means a bad thing. It opens the album on a relatable level, someone who understands what her audience are either going through, have been through, or will go through. At 23, Holly is luckily far away enough from being a teenager to look back in hindsight, but not so far that the emotions are removed. She’s released this album in a sweet spot that will make teenage girls feel looked after, but not belittled.
We’re moved straight to Into Your Room, a song that flips the break-up on its head from grieving to understanding the necessity of accountability. Holly delivers the line ‘I hate to think how bad I treated you’ beautifully, an arrow to the heart of everyone who spends nights staying up to contemplate every decision they’ve ever made, and those what-ifs that can never be answered.
Cocoon is about using someone for comfort. Not wanting to be alone, feeling the presence of someone else for perhaps not the right reasons. It’s about going through something, which Holly keeps purposefully vague. Again, it is choices like this in her songwriting that makes for relatability – it isn’t based off of one experience that only listeners who have experienced can emote to. She is incredible at keeping every listener feeling seen and understood, a safe space within her songs that is often forgotten about.
From the first three songs documenting these break up emotions, Kissing in Swimming Pools is a song about vulnerability with someone, perhaps as the first trusted individual since an ex-partner. Not wanting to be alone is another theme of girlhood that Holly grasps perfectly, not from a point of lust or love, but more so denying any thoughts that can creep in when by oneself. There is a thin line between wanting someone and using someone, and Holly utilises the uncertainty in her writing to return to that late-night thought of regretting your actions.
Ghost Me and Lauren are my personal favourites, and it just so happens that they juxtapose one another perfectly.
‘And if you try to ghost me / You quit being in my life / Don't you dare’ (Lyrics from Ghost Me)
‘Say the word and I'll call / Say the word and I'm coming back’ (Lyrics from Lauren)
It’s contrasts like this that show Holly’s songwriting prowess: her ability to switch perspectives in the space between track 5 and track 8 paints a whole picture of the experience.
It is the fear of losing someone and the theme of being missed or missing that runs most prominently through the album. Superbloodmoon is all about the memories living on, even if that person is no longer in your life. It’s a beautiful song about how you can be reminded of someone by the smallest or most natural of things – also, the only duet on the album. It’s dual perspective means that we hear the same line sang by both Holly and D4vd: ‘I'm obsessed with your design / and I've missed your soul forever’
Overall, Holly has documented the most pivotal years of development in her debut album: those rough 7 years of being a teenager, all neatly packed into 13 songs. It’s a must listen for anyone who loves a breakup tune, anyone who regrets the way they treated someone, or anyone who is just happy to have escaped that hellish time.
